Could they be any cuter? Here are my boys running around The Cabildo immediately following the ceremony—right before my parents arrived to whisk them away.

From the Editor: Kidding Around

“And they’re going to hold flower wands,” she told me as we talked through the details of my boys acting as “flower children” for her wedding to one of our dearest friends. “That sounds so cute,” I responded. But all that was going through my mind as a not-so-seasoned but boy mom all the same was “weapon.”

Photo by Jordan Hefler

When our friends initially asked our children, who would be 1- and 3-years old on the big day, to be a part of their wedding, my husband and I were elated. But then reality set in. Would the youngest be walking? Would they cry? Would they ruin the entire ceremony?

A worrier to my core, my anxiety only grew as my boys got bigger and the days until the big day became fewer. I remember telling my mother just hours before the ceremony that I hadn’t even felt that nervous on my own wedding day. This situation was, unfortunately, out of my hands.

“You need this,” my mom said as she handed me a glass of sauvignon blanc at 3 p.m. Something to take the edge off. But, let me tell you, the edge did not come off.

As I stood in the holding room with my children just prior to their debut, I remember closing my eyes and praying that they would make it down the aisle and that none of the wedding guests would get whacked in the head, stomach or legs with a so-called “flower wand.”

Then, the moment came. I frantically pushed the boys out into the spotlight. On my hands and knees in a butter-yellow evening gown, I pleaded with them to walk. But, as expected, things did not go to plan.

The oldest, in a sweet but misguided attempt to save the day, tried to drag the youngest, who had gotten distracted by some lights that had been added to the floor since our test run at the rehearsal the night before. A backup started to occur, and I urged the oldest to walk on while I grabbed the youngest—likely already with visual impairments due to the amount of time he spent staring into up-lighting.

Mortified, I paced back and forth in the side rooms of New Orleans’ The Cabildo as the ceremony took place, my youngest reveling at the artwork and running around in his adorably tiny knee socks. Meanwhile, the oldest was double-fisting lollipops in the front row as our friends said their vows and sealed them with a kiss.

The roses, so to speak? Neither of my sons had used those wands as weapons. The thorns? Well, I think those are obvious.

Was this a dramatic retelling of a not-so-dramatic event? Sure, you could say that. But it still feels very significant to me, just as all small details do to those intimately involved in a wedding day.

As you read through the January 2025 Weddings issue—I’m so excited to write those words—you will hear from the brides, grooms, parents and planners about just how much every little aspect of these celebrations means to everyone involved. Whether it’s the dress or the flowers or the cake or even—dare I say it—the flower girls and boys, every choice a couple makes is intentional and meant to tell the story of their relationship.

To all of the engaged couples reading this, take pride in the details. Don’t feel shame for caring about the napkins, the lighting or the photo booth props. If it’s important to you, it’s important for the big day. I do encourage you, though, to choose your flower children wisely.

 

Looking forward,

Riley Bienvenu Bourgeois